


Saltwater Cowboys

by libellules



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, also i hate the character tags why can’t we use their last names cowards, anyway, basically jj idolizes john b like an older brother, bromance fluff but you could read as romance if you wanted idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libellules/pseuds/libellules
Summary: “I love you, brother.”“You’re such a simp for me, John B.”or the one where John B is gone and JJ is losing it, gets very emo, and just really misses his brother and doesn’t really know how to function on his own until John B gets back but then JJ realizes how mad he is that John B didn’t pick up the phone and call JJ.
Relationships: JJ & John B. Routledge, Kiara/Pope (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron/John B. Routledge
Comments: 9
Kudos: 135





	Saltwater Cowboys

**Author's Note:**

> this is a self indulgent fic, purely, because i love this friendship so much and when i see an opportunity to write codependency issues i will always jump on it !! 
> 
> also, the title comes from the best line of the entire show when jj says to john b “saddle her up saltwater cowboy”

April 26th, 2020 was the last day anyone had seen or heard from John B. 

On April 26th, at around 7:46pm was the last time JJ had seen or heard from John B. 

It had been only 11:36pm when Officer Shoupe had broken the news that they didn’t find John B, Sarah Cameron, or the Phantom in the storm. No more than a minute later did JJ start to yell. Two minutes maximum was when JJ felt his eyes burning with a rage he wish he could take out on John B. _How dare you leave me?_ But instead Ms. Heyward had held him as he collapsed in on himself. 

Overall, the night had been a blur for JJ. He remembered wanting to pound his fists into those officers and he remembered wanted to tear out his hair and no matter how hard he tugged that obnoxiously ratty blond mess stayed put. He remembered Ms Heyward didn’t let go of him the entire night, arms wrapped around him as they sat at the dinner table explaining to JJ that there was no way in hell he was going home to Luke. 

Pope had later revealed that unbeknownst to JJ, he’d admitted, between his sobs, that Luke was surely going to kill him _for real this time_ if he went home. Pope also confessed to having told his parents days prior, in a fit of panic and worry after finding JJ in the hot tub, that Luke was abusive. 

That first night JJ couldn’t suit himself in any of his usual armor, couldn’t stop the foundation as it crumbled beneath his feet. That night only two things matter, and JJ’s pride was not one of them:

John B was gone. Dead or alive, he was gone.

Luke was going to kill him for stealing the Phantom.

Pope was going through it that night but in the same way Kie was going through it. They were shocked, they were probably a bit scared, and surely they were sad. John B was one of their best friends. 

They were not, however, going through it like JJ. 

JJ was eight when the kids in third grade made fun of him for being smelly, for not understanding how to read the letters good, for stupid shit that sometimes hit JJ like a tropical rain when he least expected it. But it had been like that JJ’s entire life, it had never bothered him much before and it didn’t start until the summer was over and his mom didn’t come home from the grocery store. It started to bother JJ when his mom didn’t collect him off the bus and reassure him that those kids’ opinions didn’t matter. Anyway, Luke seemed to agree that JJ wasn’t worth the time of day and never remembered to pack his lunch money. 

JJ only ever cried in front of the mean kids once in his entire life—and he prided himself for that, thank you very much—and it was the first time somebody ever blamed him for his mom’s disappearance. John B heard. John B understood, like actually understood. And John B always had half a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich to share in exchange for a knock-knock joke. John B was so cool and JJ wanted to spend every waking minute in the happy bubble that seemed to follow the kid everywhere he went.

Big John taught JJ how to ride a bike. Big John taught JJ how to really swim, not the doggy paddle to save yourself if you ever fell off the fishing boat, but the backstroke and the butterfly and all that. John B wasn’t a very good reader either so they went surfing instead, went ghost crabbing with Big John instead reading stories before bed, and made up their own names for every spot in town. 

One time, when JJ and John B were in middle school, Big John actually pulledJJ aside when John B left dinner to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked, _JJ, is everything okay at home_ , but it was the first time JJ thought the person asking might actually care to hear the real answer. Maybe if he’d just told the truth things would’ve turned out a lot better. But JJ knew better than to tell people the truth. To risk losing all the safety he’d worked so hard to find for himself. 

John B took care of JJ when Big John disappeared. Perhaps in the way JJ ought to have been taking care of John B. John B made sure JJ ate at least two meals a day. John B made sure there was always enough hot water for JJ to shower. John B made sure no Kooks ever hit JJ when he was around to defend him—JJ was already getting hit enough, John B would take any that he could to lighten the load. John B made sure JJ had clean clothes to wear to school (most of the time, at least). Most of all, John B always made sure JJ had somewhere to go when Luke got angry. 

JJ never talked about it with John B, couldn’t bare to even speak the words out loud, but he also knew John B knew. Not only, JJ knew that John B and Big John talked about it together. They were in sync when JJ would show up forgetting to cover his bruises or flinching when he really didn’t mean to. Big John always offered JJ to spend the night. John B more often than not even offered JJ the bed, at least on the nights when JJ took hours to find a comfortable enough position to sleep. Sometimes Big John sat at the end of the bed and told him stories about a ship called the Royal Merchant and buried treasure on the ocean floor. Sometimes John B would sleep in a makeshift bed on the floor or beside JJ on the mattress and occasionally, very occasionally, he might even tell JJ never to go back home, to stay with them forever instead. 

Neither Pope nor Kie were grieving what JJ was grieving. Sure, the four of them were a bit of a found family, but John B was more family to JJ than anyone else in the entire universe. JJ lost all the pieces of himself that molded with John B’s and suddenly he was eight years old and alone without anybody who understood, who made sure JJ was okay. 

And if he cried the entire time Mr. and Ms Heyward explained how they would apply for a foster liscense, well that’s just how it went. 

JJ had a social worker his entire life but he had never been taken anywhere. When things where bad JJ could run to the Chataeu. They lived in the rural forest of the Cut, so when things got loud no nosy neighbors ever knew. When JJ showed up to school with bruises the teachers couldn’t differentiate them from the hundreds of others he would procure throughout the day, in fights, or on the playground. 

His social worker was named Harriet and she was probably in her fifities, old enough to make JJ wonder how old his mother would be now. She didn’t smile like JJ’s mom used to smile or how Ms Heyward smiled. Harriet put JJ in the front seat of her Subaru and drove him all the way across the island and all the way through Kook territory before dropping him off on the mainland at a house no bigger or safer looking than his own. 

Harriet explained the rules, explained the temperance of this place and that he would be out as soon as the Heyward’s foster liscence was approved so it would be best for JJ to just lay low and not cause any trouble that could get him sent to a group home or juvie. JJ wanted to roll his eyes, he never meant to cause the trouble he found himself in. It followed him like a copperhead and struck when he wasn’t looking. 

He was at the foster home for an entire month and three days. His foster mom, Penny, was clearly only interested in the money coming in each month from JJ and the other foster kid, Reed. Reed was seventeen and waited on the edge of his seat to get out of the system for good. He was almost never home and wanted nothing to do with Penny or JJ. Penny kept food on the table but that’s about all she did for or said to JJ. It wasn’t ideal but it was fine for a month. It was still summer so JJ didn’t need to get back and forth to school or a job. Life was lonely but he held out hope that soon the Heyward’s would be approved. 

In June, Harriet picked JJ up from the mainland house and drove him right to the Heyward’s. They had put a second bed in Pope’s bedroom and Ms Heyward had showed JJ where he could put his toothbrush and which drawers she had asked Pope to clear out for his stuff.

“I, uh...” JJ trailed off shrugging to his backpack provided by the state containing a toothbrush, toothpaste, and like two t shirts from the Goodwill. 

“That’s okay, baby, we’ll get you some clothes. Maybe for now you can just borrow some of Pope’s?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

JJ took a deep breath in that night and promised to himself that he was going to be fine from here on out. No more crying himself to sleep or throwing himself a pity party all day long. He had Pope and he had the Heywards and he had Kie. That was all he was going to need anymore.

* * *

August 17th was approaching, the first day of junior year. Summer was almost over and there was no word from John B. JJ was starting to actually let his mind wander into the deep depths of his stomach where his gut told him John B was probably dead. JJ wanted to vomit half the time. The other half he just wanted to hit somebody. 

Pope and Kie weren’t in any of his classes but that wasn’t a surprise because they were both too smart for him. JJ knew some of the kids in his classes but nobody in the Cut outside of the Pogues actually gave a shit about JJ Maybank. John B probably would’ve been in most of his classes because, even though John B was smart, he didn’t care at all about school and much preferred to ditch right before Chem class and go surfing with JJ. 

The Heyward’s has given JJ a track phone so they needed to contact him in case of an emergency and so he could call his social worker if he ever felt unsafe with them. JJ knew that there was no way John B could ever know the number but sometimes he check it for a missed call from John B anyway. 

He missed John B even more as the summer dragged on. Pope and Kie clung to each other for any sake of normalcy and sanity after John B disappeared. They grew more and more codependent by the day and, even when they included JJ, he always felt like an outsider. John B had been the leader of the Pogues, the one who drew everybody in and forced them to be friends. JJ didn’t really know how to be a good friend without John B there to be his safety net. 

After being away at the foster home and moving in with the Heywards, JJ had come to realize there was a lot about himself that was missing. Who was JJ Maybank? What did he want for his future? What is his favorite food? What does he do when he the last joint is out and he’s all alone in the smoke? 

“Hey, school might not be where you wanna be right now. But at least this summer is done and over,” Pope tried to reassure him one night as they laid restless in the dark.

JJ probably would’ve let himself cry if Pope wasn’t in the room so instead he just laughed and tossed his pillow at Pope to get him riled up and forgetting about how pitiful JJ’s life had become. It was all fun and games until they hit the light and it fell to the floor. Luckily the bulb didn’t break so Heyward didn’t have an excuse to kill them both dead.

* * *

It was actually August 28th when JJ walked home from school with Pope and Kie, hand in hand of course, to find JohnB and Sarah sitting at the Heyward’s kitchen table looking way too clean and healthy to be dead. 

JJ froze instantly. Wanting nothing more than to turn around and run right back to school.

Pope went right for an infamous John B bear hug and Kie actually went straight to Sarah and wrapped her arms around her former nemesis-former-best-friend-turned-something. JJ could feel John B’s eyes searching over Pope’s shoulder for JJ. JJ didn’t look up, didn’t want anything to do with this. Right when things were starting to get a little bit okay again. Right when he really missed his family. Right when John B had to still sound exactly the same when he said JJ’s name.

“JJ?” Pope had noticed, and everybody had probably noticed but JJ was too exhausted to care, so Pope was talking to Kie and Sarah. They were all still watching though. Trying and failing to do it subtly. “JJ, can you at least look me in the eyes, man?” 

John B sounded like he was talking somebody down off the ledge and JJ didn’t think he even near the ledge. Maybe one foot had always been dangling off the brink of disaster for JJ. Maybe John B was just being dramatic. 

John B approached him with his arms spread out and JJ took a step back, hitting his back with the door and bouncing in a start. John B stopped, hands out with spread fingers as if JJ was pointing a gun at his head. 

“JJ?” There was worry in John B’s voice that sounded the same as when he and Big John fretted over JJ’s lack of lunch money. JJ realized he hadn’t said anything yet and that Pope and Kie were staring far more obviously now. 

“It’s been three months, John B.”

John B let his hands fall to his sides and he breathed into his stance so his shoulders weren’t so high and tense anymore. 

“I’m so sorry, I-,”

“You didn’t call for three months. I thought you were dead.”

John B took a step forward and JJ stuck out his hand to keep space between them. If John B hugged him he would lose the anger that he rightfully seethed in for a moment and he would probably cry and that would be really fucking embarassing with Pope, Kie, and Sarah Cameron in the room watching. 

“JJ, I wanted to call so badly but I always had your number as a contact and I looked you up in the Whitepages when we got to land but the number was disconnected and they didn’t have anything else and...” John B was rambling and he had tears on his cheeks and JJ wanted to hug him so badly but he was too mad to be held right now and he wanted to throw his fists into John B’s gut and tell him how fucked up everything was since John B decided gold was more important than family. The same choice his father had made. JJ wanted to say all of that and he wanted John B to hurt when he heard it. 

“JJ, brother, I’m so fucking sorry.”

JJ didn’t say anything and with the word brother all his anger suddenly started to get pulled away like the tide and he wanted to feel at home again and so he slouched against John B until the other boy comprehended his surrender and engulfed him in a hug. JJ hid his face against John B’s chest in his last futile attempt to save his ego but when John B started running gentle fingertips up and down his back and whispering that he was never going to leave JJ alone again, well then the dam broke and JJ didn’t even care who saw him crying. It helped that John B was crying just as pathetically and, when he looked up after what seemed like a lifetime, the other three were all overcome with tears as well. 

JJ couldn’t speak but stayed glued to John B, much to Sarah’s annoyance, during their entire telling of their journey to the Bahamas to get the gold. 

“At least tell us you got the 400 million?” Kie prodded. 

“We got zero million, actually,” admitted Sarah and Kie looked ready to strangle somebody but after a few breaths seemed to remember her long lost friends had just washed up alive. 

John B kept his arm around JJ’s shoulders and his cheek resting on JJ’s matty hair. 

“I love you, brother,” John B whispered against JJ in attempt to anchor them back into who they were before the summer started. Or maybe into the present moment with all of their broken pieces somehow reconfigured to fit once again. If JJ knew how to turn his thoughts into words he would tell John B that he was the best friend in the universe and JJ loved him more than anybody on the planet. But JJ wasn’t good with sentiments and words, so instead he said:

“You’re such a simp for me, John B.”

**Author's Note:**

> there’s so many other fics like this right now so i don’t take credit for a lot of these themes (and i mean who isn’t writing about jj loving his bestie and struggling when he’s gone?) but i really tried to write my own spin on this troupe! 
> 
> also, like the chaotic person i am, i wrote this on my phone in the middle of the night and didn’t even read it through before posting so if there are big enough errors that it confuses the plot, plz let me know and i can totally clarify! 
> 
> i swear i’m not anti-sarah (i mean she’s a little boring but she’s a sweet girl) but i think realistically it would take jj some time to warm up to her, especially when he associates john b disappearing to sarah...
> 
> and finally, i got SO mad watching the show when the ship captain asked john b and sarah if they had anybody to call and they blew it off so i fixed it with their problematic genz-not-knowing-phone-numbers backstory! bandaids!!


End file.
